She specifically called out the company’s lax hiring standards for drivers, joking that they recruit from mental hospitals and comparing them to Kobe Bryant, who was once accused of sexual assault.
Peretti zeroed in on Uber, the $62.5 billion startup-in-name-only that is perhaps most regularly held up as Silicon Valley’s darling child*. “I love what you did with the poor people … the last time I was in a room with this many rich people I was getting gang-banged at the Rosewood Hotel.” “It’s the glam and glitz of the Oscars, with none of the public interest,” Peretti said right out of the gate. Peretti did a pretty good job of delivering it to them. Given the depressing market situation, with Twitter and LinkedIn stock sitting in the toilet, attendees showed up on Monday night looking to be paid attention to in a way that didn’t hurt their bank accounts. This is probably because having an A-list celebrity tell tech employees and investors that they are overpaid dorks makes them feel flattered that they’re being paid attention to at all.
The year before that, John Oliver made mincemeat of the crowd, dropping a viral rant about just how stupid and insidery the Crunchies are.īetween Oliver, Miller and this year’s host, comedian and actress Chelsea Peretti, it’s become a part of the Crunchies routine to hire a host who’s likely to say mean things to and about the people in attendance. Miller repeatedly called the girlfriend of Uber CEO Travis Kalanick a “bitch” onstage. The Crunchies have an open bar and a recent track record of explosively bad behavior: Last year, Crunchies host and “Silicon Valley” actor T.J. There wasn’t a strict dress code, which meant that attendees’ outfits spanned kilts, tuxedos, startup t-shirts over jeans, startup t-shirts under blazers and women carrying Chanel and Prada handbags. Outside this year’s event, there were four rotating searchlights sweeping the sky over three shamrock-green carpets. Attendees fork over at least $115 to watch tech employees claim prizes like Fastest Rising Startup or Founder of the Year. Started in 2007 by TechCrunch founder Michael Arrington, the Crunchies are something like an excessively moneyed nerd prom.
Held on Monday night in San Francisco’s War Memorial Opera House, opposite City Hall, the Crunchies are a tongue-in-cheek Oscars clone for startups and people who invest in them. Why not throw a party to cheer everyone up? And what could be better to soothe wounded Silicon Valley egos than the ninth annual Crunchies, the industry awards gala put on by tech blog TechCrunch? Venture capital funding is drying up, and the Bay Area real estate market might finally be overheating. The share prices of some of Silicon Valley’s most admired companies are slipping by double digits. The news out of Silicon Valley has been pretty grim lately.
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